From the crapper again… Driver Communications

It was nice of the Automobile Association of Singapore (AAS) to come up with driving tips pertaining to driving in Malaysia.

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I looked at this with great interest and frankly, it did ease the crap out of me. Drivers familiar with Malaysian roads and traffic etiquette would know that it doesn’t work this way. Here’s what really happens… at least from my observations.

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We all know that signaling right would not get you anywhere. It is like the most pansy thing to do. Here’s what people actually do. Approach the slower car in front of you at a ridiculously high speed, high beam like mad, jam your brakes and tail gate the fella till he keeps left. Forget about his signaling left to indicate that you may overtake.  Just down shift and power your way pass the slower vehicle. Wait too long and the slower vehicle is just going to swing back into the lane. You snooze, you lose.

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Never show any hand signals that involves fingers or thumbs. Unless you want to run the risk of becoming a road rage victim. At that kind of speeds, nobody is going to turn around and look in detail. (Those that turn their heads to exchange pleasantries usually end up in the ditch.) All that drivers see will very likely be from their periphery. A “thumbs up” sign would likely look more like an “up yours” sign. Bad idea.

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Okay, I am assuming that you are asking for help when your car is stationary. There is no way you can give this signal when you are driving on the highway. In any case, don’t bother asking for help. You are more likely to get robbed. Stay in your car, lock the doors and call a friend. Oh, and don’t bother stopping to help if you see people giving this sign too. They could be robbers waiting for the next sucker to stop and offer help.

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Okay, this is generally a good practice, but if you already have another vehicle in front of you at a blind corner, please, don’t sound the horn. It is another road rage waiting to happen.

News from the Crapper – Returning of Food Trays.

I was reading the papers in the crapper this morning and this caught my eye. The caption below the photo says, “Food is left on a table at Zion Road Hawker Centre, despite a sign nearby clearly indicating where people should put their used trays. This will change is the NEA’s efforts pay off.”

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Well, the problem is not with the people. It is with the signage! The signage says “Tray Return”. Notice that there are no trays at the table? Perhaps the tray was returned?

Try changing the signage to “Used Utensils Return HERE! FINE S$1,000”. Sure table clean one.

Assortative Mating… I like…

I was reading about what our grand old man has to say about the world economy on the Channel News Asia Website when I came across this:

On a lighter note, the Minister Mentor touched on what he calls assortative mating, that is, finding a spouse at your level – something he strongly believes in.

He said: “I have explained this. I think I lost votes after I explained the awful truth. Nobody believed it, but slowly it dawned on them, especially the graduates, that yes, you marry a non-graduate, then you worry about whether or not your son or daughter is going to make it to the university.”

Okay, I guess I’m not too well read and I usually don’t give much thought about this topic anyway. For a person who is still resisting contributing to the gene pool, this is seriously the last thing I would bother about ya?

But, assortative mating… that somehow caught my eye today. I think this term has a pretty catchy feel to it. I needed to know more. I did the next best thing and wiki’d “assortative mating” while googling “lee kuan yew assortative mating“. (don’t you just love tab browsing?)

I got to know what assortative mating meant, but I couldn’t find much material on the Minister Mentor’s view. Instead, I found a lot of people in the blogosphere flaming his idea.

I think I get his idea, and I think he has a point. I think I like it. But I don’t think his colleagues in the gahmen gets it. Otherwise, why would they put a foreign dormitory in a middle class residential area like Serangoon Gardens? Don’t they know that there are plenty of graduates and would-be graduates living in this type of housing estate?

I mean picture this… innocent ‘ol me, single and available hanging out in my cosy middle class estate when the ass of this cute female foreign worker catches my eye. I think I’m in love. I marry her. *poof* my valuable graduate genes is suddenly no longer available to a local blue blooded female graduate.

I want to be assortatively mated. A foreign worker dorm next to my house is not going to make it easy for me. I mean, sometimes dunno why ah, but when the planets are aligned and the moon is full, I think with me other head lor…

(Before I get flamed, I wish to make clear that this does not mean I think other housing estate don’t have graduates… I just wanted to point out that Serangoon Gardens have.)