It was nice of the Automobile Association of Singapore (AAS) to come up with driving tips pertaining to driving in Malaysia.

I looked at this with great interest and frankly, it did ease the crap out of me. Drivers familiar with Malaysian roads and traffic etiquette would know that it doesn’t work this way. Here’s what really happens… at least from my observations.

We all know that signaling right would not get you anywhere. It is like the most pansy thing to do. Here’s what people actually do. Approach the slower car in front of you at a ridiculously high speed, high beam like mad, jam your brakes and tail gate the fella till he keeps left. Forget about his signaling left to indicate that you may overtake.  Just down shift and power your way pass the slower vehicle. Wait too long and the slower vehicle is just going to swing back into the lane. You snooze, you lose.

Never show any hand signals that involves fingers or thumbs. Unless you want to run the risk of becoming a road rage victim. At that kind of speeds, nobody is going to turn around and look in detail. (Those that turn their heads to exchange pleasantries usually end up in the ditch.) All that drivers see will very likely be from their periphery. A “thumbs up” sign would likely look more like an “up yours” sign. Bad idea.

Okay, I am assuming that you are asking for help when your car is stationary. There is no way you can give this signal when you are driving on the highway. In any case, don’t bother asking for help. You are more likely to get robbed. Stay in your car, lock the doors and call a friend. Oh, and don’t bother stopping to help if you see people giving this sign too. They could be robbers waiting for the next sucker to stop and offer help.

Okay, this is generally a good practice, but if you already have another vehicle in front of you at a blind corner, please, don’t sound the horn. It is another road rage waiting to happen.