Vladimir Putin… my new hero! When 5 Russians were kilt in Iraq, what did he do? Well unlike the pansy Americans that just sit around and ‘kao peh kao bu’, the Russian President orders his secret service to hunt down the culprits and get them ‘wasted’.
Now, this is how you get things done. Play those bastards in their own game. They want to go covert, do the same…
Bet these terrorsts are pissing in their pants now.
Oei Hong Leong, the guy on the right. (you should know the other two), Bill Gates and Warren Buffett… all three of them have in the recent 3 months announced that they will be putting their focus into charity.
Mr Oei’s Chip Lian Investments have been renamed Oei Hong Leong Foundation. Bill Gates have decided to stop performing day to day operations in Microsoft to concentrate in his Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Mr Buffett has decided to take out 80% of his fortune for charity with the main beneficiary being the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.
I cannot see any explanation to all these except one… there’s money to be made in charities. There’s only one reason why these people are rich. They can sniff out money like mice sniff out cheese. Of course, T T Durai found that out a long time ago.
|
Goal Time |
Pacing Strategy |
Nutrition Strategy |
Mental Strategy |
|
|
Breakfast |
N.A. |
N.A. |
I will not wake up at 4.30am. I don’t know what time the race starts but eating at 4:30? That’s nuts. I will however, wake up 2 hours before the race, and hope that it’s not 4.30am, and take some liquid foods. (It is easier to pee during race than to shit.) |
I will relax. I will take the time to have a good crap. I will remind myself that crapping during race is not a good idea and the most important reasons I am here today is definitely not to crap during the race. I will remind myself that I just need to finish before the last guy. |
|
Pre-Race |
N.A. |
N.A. |
At the race ground, I’d probably need to pee from drinking too much liquid in the morning. I will start sipping whatever isotonic shit I can get from the petrol station. This will keep me essentially hydrated. I will continue this until I get into the water to warm up. (Peeing in the water generally warms you up.) |
I will stay relaxed. After I get body marked, I will go talk crap with the rest of the Average Joes and hope that at least one of them knows when our wave starts. |
|
Swim |
50′ |
I will not be stuck behind an idiot that cannot swim if his life depended on it. I will stay far far away from the crowd. |
N.A. |
I will stay within myself. I will take long, relaxed strokes, and repeat to myself “long and relaxed”. I will focus only on what I am doing - my breathing, and my form, and try not to fall asleep. |
|
T1 |
5′ |
N.A. |
None. |
As I perform my transition tasks, I will look around and enjoy the great spectacle around me. I will ensure that no sand gets into my socks while putting them on. |
|
Bike |
1h30′ |
I will ride at very near an average of 25 to 30 km/h throughout the race. I will try not to fall at the hair pin throughout the 4 laps. |
After 15 minutes into the ride, I will start to drink what ever shit I have in my bottle. (I am thinking Ribena.) But I won’t take too much… in case need to go toilet. If I still feel low on sugar, I will eat the M&Ms I stash in my back pocket. |
I will focus on my pedaling. I will focus on pedaling smoothly, lightly, and efficiently. Especially as I fatigue, I will ensure that I don’t get too tired and still be able to smile at the cameras. - I will resist the temptation to look too relaxed in front of the cameras. |
|
T2 |
5′ |
N.A. |
None. |
As I perform my transition tasks, I will tell myself that I am just 10km away from my wan ton mee and sugarcane juice. |
|
Run |
1h20′ |
I will run and not walk. |
I will not drink from every aid station. It bloats my stomach. Unless I’m going to faint from exhaustion, I will save my stomach for the sugarcane juice. |
I will set my mental focus on not walking. I will look around for people whose numbers are close to mine. If they are still around, I’m not doing too badly. |
|
Post-Race |
N.A. |
N.A. |
As soon as I feel comfortable doing so, I’ll go get sugarcane juice and sip as I stone by one of those tables. I hope Bayshore is available for a nice cool dip after. |
Boy am I going to pig out! |
In today’s news, the Singapore soccer team will be forced to play the Asian Cup qualifier with Palestine in a 6,000 Jalan Besar Stadium even though they have previously booked for the National Stadium that sits 60,000.
Because our National SPORTS stadium will be used for a CONCERT?!
SSC says that they want to support the International Mega Event…. Robbie Willaims Asian Tour… Damn! And I thought Robbie Williams was so yesterday’s new lor…
Our Singapore SPORTS Council just told SPORTS to take a back seat for yeaterday’s news.
Maybe they should consider a name change, like Singapore’s Council for Yesterday’s Event or something like that. They can even convert all the stadiums into concert halls or something… and then bring in more yesterday’s news like, Britney, Michael Jackson, Spice Girls etc…
If anyone asks me, I think we really have our priorities all mixed up.
Why did we build those 2 durians again?
Thanks a lot Pea, I did the stoopeed quiz and then realised that… Wah Piang! I quite power ah… Sweet Talking Seducer…
I like the analysis… just that, it is not happening… Hmm… now to find out what went wrong.
Your seduction technique can be summed up with “charm”
You know that if you have the chance to talk to someone…
Well, you won’t be talking for long! 
You’re great at telling potential lovers what they want to hear.
Partially, because you’re a great reflective listener and good at complementing.
The other part of your formula? Focusing your conversation completely on the other person.
Your “sweet talking” ways have taken you far in romance - and in life.
You can finess your way through any difficult situation, with a smile on your face.
Speeding tickets, job interviews… bring it on! You truly live a *charmed life*
