Special thanks to WS for pointing me to this article. I believe this has confirmed that all my male friends who make more money than me are likely gay.

My apologies to all straight men out here but I have reasons to believe that gay men make more money because they are more intelligent than straight men.

Here’s why. Research on mammals… ok, bats have shown that testicle size and brain size have an inverse relationship. The larger your balls, the smaller your brains.

Here’s how the theory goes… large balls produce more sperm. More sperm means higher chance of carrying on the family line.

Gay men have no real need for that hence, no real need for sperm either. Their sperm probably has the same effect as warm yoghurt. This means that their balls are essentially useless. This also means that they are likely to develop smaller balls (if any), leaving the body more resources to grow a larger brain.

To all the gay men out there, “You can have your brain, I’ll keep my balls.”